


Silence is Golden

by Feran_Sensei



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, M/M, Other, Takahiro being Takahiro -3-, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7396129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feran_Sensei/pseuds/Feran_Sensei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(summary)<br/>After a tragic accident, Misaki Takahashi loses more than just his will to get into another car. With the difficulty of adjusting to life after the crash, Akihiko begins to notice a strange change in Misaki's behaviour. Little does he know, Misaki is struggling within himself as his world slowly slips into silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ignorance is Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> >:D 
> 
> Honestly I started typing this note because I thought I had something important to say, but pfft, when does that ever happen? 
> 
> Read on and please leave comments loves. This isn't a super old story but I will tell you I can think of ways to change it, but I think I'll keep it as is.
> 
> This was my entry for the Spring Nano Wrimo, write a "novel" in a month thing. I'm lazy so I set my goal to only 15,000. Sphere you go. 15,000 heart demolishing words~ 
> 
> :3 Thank you for clicking my story ^-^
> 
> But I'm on mobile so my italics don't work D:

A light humming filled the otherwise empty air of the large, upscale maisonette. Misaki Takahashi, vacuum in hand, patrolled the living area in search of any mess that his landlord had left behind. Be it books, dirty dishes, half finished--and sometimes even the completed ones-- a sea of papers and their writing counterparts, or even the man himself, Misaki was constantly tailing behind the author and cleaning up his mess. Usami Akihiko was otherwise painfully unaware, or thought that Misaki's struggles to keep the house clean were irrelevant, because despite all the times that the boy had told him to at least do his own laundry, the man still couldn't tell the difference between bleach and normal laundry detergent.

Clicking off the vacuum and putting it back in it's rightful location, Misaki headed to the kitchen to start breakfast. Pulling his navy blue apron to his chest and tying it in the back, he put his hair into a small pony and preheated the stove. After greasing the pan so the eggs wouldn't stick, he set it on the heat, and opened the fridge. Suddenly, the high pitched ringing of the phone pulled him out of his mindlessness. Flipping off the burner, he wiped his hands on the apron and went to answer it.  
"Hello, this is Misaki Takahashi." 

"Misaki?" The voice on the other end of the phone was one that was very familiar to him. 

"Oh, hey! Nii-chan, what do you need?" His brother, Takahiro, was often very busy with work, as well as raising his young son, so there weren't many opportunities for the man to visit the Usami household, nor his younger brother. 

"I needed to ask Akihiko about something. Is he there?" Takahiro's voice had a giddy undertone about it, but Misaki ignored it, suddenly remembering that the author was still in bed.

"Ah, Nii-chan, sorry. He's still asleep right now." 

"Asleep? At this time of day? It's already past noon!" Misaki chuckled slightly at how little his brother truly knew about his friend's sleeping habits.

"Well, I'll just call back later then, when he gets up. Tell him I called?" 

"Uhh, wait. Actually I need to wake him up anyway, so hang on a sec, and I'll get him for you." Misaki placed down the receiver on the table next to it's base and walked across the large room to the man's bedroom. With two quiet knocks, he cracked open the door. 

"Oi, Usagi-san," He said softly. "Takahiro's on the phone." The room stayed deadly silent, the lump of a blanket not stirring in the slightest.

"Oi," Misaki said slightly louder this time. A low grumble came from within the darkness. 

"Usagi-san, get up." Still the man made no move to rouse himself. 

"Come on, you're being rude! Go answer the phone." Stepping into the discombobulated mess of a room, children's toys scattered about the space and playful banners hanging from the ceiling, Misaki approached the bed and pulled off his covers. Usami groaned.

"I told you, get up! Nii-chan is still on the phone waiting for you!" Tossing the blanket to the side, Misaki shook the author vigorously. 

"Ehermm," Came the mumbled reply. "I'm tired. Go away." The lazy silver haired man grabbed his pillow and stuffed his head underneath it. Misaki frowned.

"Oi! Don't you back sass me! It's already past noon, so get your ass up!" With a furious growl, Misaki stormed out of the room--making sure to leave the door open and make lots of noise--before he got attacked by the angry morning demon that was Usami Akihiko. Walking back over to the phone, he put it back to his ear. In the background he could hear his Sister-in-law's voice as well as the crying of a baby. 

"Nii-chan?" Misaki said into the phone to see if Takahiro was still there. After a moment, the crying subsided and his brother's voice sounded on the other end of the line.

"Oh, Misaki. Sorry about that. Mahiro was being difficult." 

"Well I can always have Usagi-san call you back if you're busy. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a deadline today, so he should have time. Plus I don't think he's getting up anytime soon... " Takahiro paused for a minute, the sound of rustling reaching Misaki's ear.

"Uhh...yeah. I was really hoping to talk with him before I had to go to work, but I guess it can wait. Anyway, Misaki, I've got to go. Take care." And before Misaki could even say anything, the line went dead. Frowning and putting the phone back on its stand, Misaki turned around to go resume his cooking duties when he was greeted by lavender eyes. He jumped, letting out an unattractive screech as he did so.

"Usagi-san! Don't sneak up on people like that, idiot!" Despite his seething rage at being snuck up and the aura that clearly stated, back up before I hit you, Akihiko draped himself over Misaki's shoulders, practically going limp in his arms and almost making the two of them fall to the ground.  
"Hey! What the hell are you doing, cut that out!" Akihiko slipped his hands underneath Misaki's shirt to caress the skin beneath, kissing the younger boy's neck as he did so.

"No, stop! Usagi-san! Cut it out you big pervert!" Ignoring the defenseless Misaki's cries for help, Akihiko continued his assault, advancing slightly more aggressive than before, lifting his touch higher on the boy's body.

"Woah, Usagi-san, what are you doing?! What's gotten into you all of a sudden!? Are you still asleep!?" Putting his hands to Akihiko's face to try and push the horny rabbit off of himself, Misaki was only making the situation worse, since being up against Akihiko while making all of those excess movements were doing nothing to make the man any less erect. Not aware that his pants had been unbuttoned, Misaki squawked when he felt a hand reach into his denim shorts.

"GAAAH! NO! STOP, YOU BASTARD! I HAVE MY CLASSES TO GET TO!! CLASSES I SAY!" Managing to twist himself to the side, placing one of his own legs against the taller Akihiko's upper thigh--the other foot as tippy toes on the floor--Misaki pushed frantically in hopes of prying himself away from his assailant. Suddenly being let go of, Misaki slipped on his socked foot and fell backwards onto the floor with a loud thump.

"Oww..." Rubbing his poor gluteus maximus, Misaki glared at Akihiko who was sitting on the balls of his feet in front of him, holding his chin in one of his hands in a thoughtful gesture.  
"Hmm," Misaki glared up at him, slightly afraid of the thoughts running through his head. "I must have misread the yaoi pheromones then." Misaki blinked.

"...Excuse me? The wha--"

"Well, You're practically in your boxer briefs, and you might as well be shirtless. And You're wearing the apron--daring of you if I may say so myself--so I assumed my Misaki had finally spread his wings and left the nest, finally willing to take me on, but I suppose it was all just an illusion of my weary, delusional mind. You weren't seducing me after all." With a light tisk Akihiko stood and walked over to the red tinted sofa and sat down, his stoic expression suggesting that nothing had even happened. Pissed, Misaki looked down at his outfit, trying to decipher the irrational thoughts that had just been revealed to him. 

It was true that perhaps his denim shorts were a bit too short, but it was just a centimeter or so above mid thigh, nothing really noticeable unless you're a huge pervert. It was around the time when the weather was at its hottest, and there was no way in hell that Misaki was going to prance about fully clothed while having to do all the chores. His shirt was more of a thin blue striped tank that was a size larger than his normal shirts for breathing room, not like some thin strip of cloth or anything. Misaki didn't want to understand what exactly Usagi-san saw, but it was sure to show up in one of the man's BL books eventually, and he cringed at the thought. The only thing that Misaki had on that would really even warm him up in the slightest would have to be his star socks, and despite their small size and thin material, he still felt as if he were going to melt it was so hot. The heat certainly won't be good for his temperament.

The sound of the news flipping on snapped Misaki out of his trance, alerting him of the man who was more than ready to just laze about all day. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Misaki felt a dreaded feeling rise within him for some reason. Today was sure to be long. 

"Usagi-san, don't you have some kind of work to do? I told Takahiro that you didn't, but knowing you, there's sure to be something that you've missed." Akihiko didn't look back at him, just flipped the channel from the news to some kids cartoon.

"Nope. I've done everything."

"Are you sure? There's gotta be something you haven't done yet." Misaki was sceptical as to whether or not the man was telling the truth. He had horrid--or rather non existent--credibility with anyone when it came to his work life. 

Akihiko turned around from sitting on the couch, letting one arm to rest over the top of the sofa as he looked over his shoulder.

"I haven't done Misaki." A cold shiver ran down his spine.

"NO! None of that!" Rushing into the kitchen to finish up the earlier abandoned meal, Misaki sighed and thought back to his talk with Takahiro. 

"Oh right, Usagi-san, Nii-chan called you earlier. The call you so rudely ignored," Misaki huffed. "Well, anyway, he said he wanted to talk to you about is as soon as you can, so call him, alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it." Pursing his lips towards the man still absorbed in some cartoon teaching little kids how to count, Misaki glanced up at the time.

"Aw, crap! I'm gonna be late if I don't get ready now!" Making sure that the stove was off and everything relatively clean, Misaki placed the finished dish on the table and rushed up the stairs. Changing into work appropriate clothes and freshening up, he hopped down the stairs.

"Hey, I told you to stop running down the stairs. I read a story once where someone tripped and died because they were so hasty to get to the first floor." Misaki glared, but it was more out of annoyance rather than with any real malicious intent.

"Well if you wouldn't leave such a mess, I wouldn't have to rush because of being late from cleaning it up!" Misaki grabbed his jacket and hurried into the genkan to get his shoes. 

"Your food's on the table, and I put out some fresh sheets when I did your laundry. At least make your own bed." Misaki stood. "And don't forget to call Takahiro. It seemed important. Try not to burn the house down when making coffee; and I shouldn't have to remind you about the heat resistant glasses, but they're in the FAR cabinet. Not the middle one. And don't go near any sharp objects. You know what happened last time." Grabbing the door handle, he pulled, ready to be on his way.

"Text me if we need groceries or anything so I can pick em up on my way home. Anyway, I'm off--" Miskai was abruptly hugged from behind, Akihiko's warm arms wrapped around his waist. 

"Usagi-san, I'm going to be late! Let go!" 

"I can just drive you. Indulge me for a little while longer." Akihiko's voice took on a somber tone.

"Usagi-san, what's wrong?" Misaki felt him tense, but he said nothing. Misaki stood deathly still.

"Usagi-san?" Releasing his grip on Misaki, Akihiko turned to re-enter the living area.

"It's nothing. I just have a bad feeling about something. Maybe I forgot one of my deadlines again, but I haven't yet realised it? Not that I would care but..."

"Ugh, is that all it is? I was worried for nothing. Learn to get your work done!" Really not in the mood to be late to Kamijou-Sensei's class again, Misaki threw the door open.

"I'm leaving now!" And before Akihiko knew it, Misaki was gone. 

\---

Sighing heartily and leaning back in his office chair, Akihiko rubbed his eyes. It turned out he really had forgotten a few columns, and he had suddenly lost inspiration after Misaki left, so they took quite a bit longer than he had anticipated. Now that they were finally done, however, Akihiko was at a loss as to what to do now.

He glanced down at his computer time, realizing that there was still a while yet until Misaki would return since he had his part time job after school. The thought of Misaki suddenly reminded him that he was supposed to call Takahiro back. Pulling out his smartphone, Akihiko dialed his old friend's number and listened to the rings vibrate the side of his tired face. While he waited he lit a cigarette. 

"Hello, Manami speaking." 

"Yeah, It's Akihiko. Is Takahiro available?" Pulling the cancer stick from his mouth, Akihiko let out a breath of smoke before snuffing it in his ashtray. 

"Oh, Usami-Sensei! Long time no see! I'll get Takahiro, please wait." The opposite line went quiet, the sound of her retreating footsteps slowly vanishing into silence. Not a few moments later, a set of heavier footsteps approached. 

"This is Takahashi speaking." Akihiko smiled at his friends formality.

"It's me, Takahiro."

"Oh, Usagi! I needed to talk to you about something! Did Misaki tell you?"

"Yeah, he reminded me about eighty times, the brat." They chuckled.

"Well, that's Misaki for you. He's changed though, in the time he's spent at your home, Akihiko. He's smarter and better at making decisions. I think his fear of causing trouble has calmed down a bit too, even if just a little." Takahiro spoke about his brother just like the times before Akihiko had even met Misaki; full of admiration and love, and there was almost a proud parent feeling to the way he spoke. It made Akihiko a bit jealous.

"Speaking of Misaki, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Takahiro's voice was excited, like he had a secret that he was just dying to tell. This more than greatly unsettled Akihiko.

"So, as you've probably forgotten since you're so busy, Misaki's birthday is tomorrow." Akihiko's eyes widened. It wasn't as if he'd forgotten Misaki's special day. He honestly would never do something like forget his lover's birthday, it was just a matter of him forgetting what today was. He was wondering why he'd had that dreadful feeling earlier, as if he'd forgotten something important. 

"Well, since this is going to be Misaki's last birthday living at your house and the last birthday he'll have before officially becoming an adult, I really want to surprise him." Akihiko felt his stomach flip, not quite liking where this conversation was headed.

"Is that so? What did you have in mind?" He forced the worry from his voice and focused on acting as if he were also excited about the surprise. 

"Well," Takahiro began. "I was thinking that we could all three go somewhere, maybe grab something to eat on our way back." It sounded like a perfectly ordinary party plan to him. He quietly sighed from relief.

"I like the idea, but don't you think that's a bit generic?" Akihiko smiled.

"The surprise will be at the end. you see, a coworker of mine has a brother that works in real estate who just happens to be indebted to me, so I got a marvelous deal on an apartment for Misaki when he moves out!~" Akihiko felt his breath hitch in his throat, and his stomach clench.

Move out? Misaki? 

Akihiko had believed up until now that Misaki was always going to stay with him. The two had even decided it themselves when Kaoruko had kicked them out of their own house. 

Their home.

It had been such since before Akihiko had gotten heartbroken, and ever since Miskai moved in, Akihiko felt as if he had moved into an entirely different planet. He's been broken in this home, mended in this home. He's been sick and in good health; seen others the same in their home. He's loved here, hated here, shared intimate moments within these walls. Without Misaki, it would be like giving it all away, replacing it with the cold, heartless place that it used to be.

"Akihiko?" Takahiro brought him back to reality; quickly realizing that he'd been spaced out.  
"Oh sorry, I was snuffing my cigarette." He lied.

"So, what do you think? Where should we go first before we visit Misaki's new apartment?" Akihiko frowned, wanting more than anything to just tell Takahiro, shout it to the world, that Misaki was to stay with him. That he loved Misaki. That was what he always said he was prepared to do, but now face to face with the actuality of the decision, he wasn't sure if he could do it. Putting on a fake, smiling voice, Akihiko started giving Takahiro suggestions of where they should go tomorrow before showing Misaki his new home.

\---


	2. Fools Rush In Where Angels Fear To Tread

"Usagi-san, I'm home!" The door clicked softly behind him as Misaki entered the large house. He noticed as he took off his shoes that the house was dark, all of the lights completely extinguished. As he entered into the living area, he started to get confused. Not even the light to Usagi-san's office was on, and he usually kept it alive so that he wouldn't have to stumble around in the dark when he worked late. The only reason he would turn it off is if he left the house. 

The room was illuminated by coppery golden rays of low sunlight coming in through the French windows, but despite that fact, the house felt rather dead. A buzzing silence bounced off the high ceiling and walls, returning back to Misaki's ears as soon as it left them.

"Maybe he went out for cigarettes..." Removing his bag from his shoulder and setting it down on the couch, Misaki yawned and began looking for some kind of note. Usagi-san never left without leaving one. Walking around, checking each kitchen surface for some sort of indication of where he went off to, Misaki found nothing. Frowning, he began to get worried. 

"Usagi-san?" Misaki called out into the dead air. All was silent.   
As Misaki removed his jacket, he turned around towards the kitchen when a loud crash from upstairs slashed through the reticence. Misaki reared back in fear, his heart thundering against his chest; his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to try to call out to Usagi-san again, but not a sound came out. He stood frozen, a chill running down his spine before his body was devoured by the burning sensation of his fear. Gripping the couch until his knuckles turned white, Misaki slowly backed into the kitchen, trying desperately not to make a sound.

Slowly opening a drawer and grabbing the sharpest knife he could find, Misaki tried to focus on steadying his ragged breathing.

With the size of the house, the popularity and money, and the recklessness that came with sharing a house with Usami Akihiko, coming home to an unknown person hiding in the upstairs rooms had always been a fear of Misaki's. Stepping softly, his socked feet hardly making a sound, Misaki feared that if anything, the burglar would hear his rapid heartbeat.

Making it to the stairs, Misaki climbed slowly, his knife pointed out in front of himself. The darkness of the house grew thicker with each passing moment, the Sun's rays failing then morphing into dusk, and it only served to fuel his fear. As his feet touched the top floor, he almost wished he had turned around and left when he had the chance.

Coming from his own room, rustling could be heard followed by another soft thump. His body began to tremble as he stopped dead in his tracks.

Was this it? Was this how he was going to die? Misaki knew that despite grabbing the kitchen knife, there was no way he could actually stab another human's flesh. The thief would have cut him down first, assuming that he didn't have a gun. 

A creaking sound echoed throughout Misaki's mind, his hands now trembling to where he could barely hold the knife without wielding with both hands, pointed toward the shut door. Footsteps followed; Misaki's heart almost stopped as the hinges creaked and a thin, faint line of light shined through the crack. Then a silhouette of a man came into view.

He stood tall, towering over Misaki even despite the fact that he looked hunched over. The man didn't notice him there as he stood breathing hard, almost to the point of passing out. The man stood looking out into the darkness before turning away from him, towards the other end of the balcony.

With a light click, light suddenly flooded into the space, banishing all of the darkness and with it, Misaki's fear. Before him stood a bedraggled, dead looking, slightly swaying Usami Akihiko. With a wave of relief washing over him, the knife slipped out of Misaki's hands, alerting the silver haired man.

"Misaki?" He said turning around, his words quiet and mushed together, as if he were mumbling. Misaki couldn't bring himself to reply as his knees gave out and he collapsed onto the floor. His gaze fixed upon the quickly nearing man before him. His eyes growing wet from unborn tears, Misaki let out a shaky breath.

Akihiko, eyes wide, put his hands on Misaki's shoulders, his face full of worry.

"Misaki, what's wrong? What happened?" Misaki's face changed from one of shock to one of absolute rage.

"What's wrong!?" He snapped. "What happened!?" Tears streamed freely down his face as Misaki raised his voice, sitting higher on his knees to demonstrate his ever growing wrath.

"What the fuck do you mean, 'what happened!?' I thought there was someone in the house, dammit! All the lights were out, there wasn't a note, and you didn't text me saying you were going out like you normally would, so I didn't know if you'd left or if y-you'd been...If you'd b-been killed." At this point, Misaki completely broke down, taking Akihiko into his arms and wetting his shirt with rapid teardrops.

"You d-don't know how w-worried I w-was!" He choked out between messy sobs and hiccups. "I t-thought surely I'd f-find you d-dead!" Misaki gripped the white fabric of Akihiko's shirt as he felt Usagi-san's cold hands wrap around him, one tousling his hair gently and the other rubbing the crease of his back. 

"Shh, It's okay, Misaki. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." As Akihiko's deep voice resonated within his ears, Misaki truly wanted to believe that what he said was true. He desperately clung to him as he wept in the frantic notion that everything would be alright, just because Usagi-san said that it would be. After several moments, Misaki miraculously began to calm down, having exhausted himself from his exertion. His breathing now somewhat steadied, his mind now comprehending everything taken in by his five senses, Misaki paused when he inhaled the scent of strong alcohol. 

"Usagi-san," He said questioning, pulling away from the taller man slightly to get a look at his face. "Have you been drinking?" Akihiko stared so calmly into Misaki's green eyes that it was almost frightening. As if he were immensely unattached from the physical world, and yet so harassed by the force of gravity, that he was on the verge of being split in two. Sad, purple orbs unraveled him, seeming to ask Misaki the answer to a question he himself could not know, even if he wanted to. 

"Just a little," He whispered, and a pang of guilt ran through Misaki. "But I'm not drunk, I promise." Akihiko pulled Misaki back into his arms, holding him as if he were some newly born babe. Misaki could hear the comforting beat of Usagi-san's heart as his head was cradled in the man's warm embrace.

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.

Like the beat of a sorrowful waltz, it echoed throughout his chest, embedding itself within Misaki's memories. It boomed, signifying the continuance of a withered soul stripped bare against the undying critique of a scornful childhood. Misaki felt every syllable spoken by Akihiko's heart, and it almost felt as if his own had been ripped from his chest. He re wrapped his arms around Akihiko, tightly this time, and not ever wanting to let go in hopes that just by doing so he could answer the silent pleas that were being played for him.

"Misaki," Akihiko's voice vibrated Misaki's ear drums, sending chills down his spine. "I love you." Misaki could do nothing more than to nuzzle his nose deeper into Akihiko's chest. He felt his face grow hot as he inhaled the scent that embodied the essence of the man he loved. A musky smell, like books, mingling with the faint bite of old cologne, and the strong scent of black coffee; all hidden beneath the intoxicating smell of cigarette smoke. 

"Misaki." Cold hands grasped either side of Misaki's face, bringing his lips up to meet chapped one's. A wet tongue slipped passed his warm lips as a hand came to rest at the small of his back. Misaki felt his chest get tight as his lungs started to plead for oxygen, but his body refused to pull away from the sensation that was making his toes tingle. He felt Akihiko lift his shirt, slipping those cold hands under and giving him goose bumps. He gasped, clenching his eyes closed as the taller man explored every inch of his clothed chest.

"U-Usagi-san." He breathed as Akihiko kissed the sensitive spot behind his ear. The wave of pleasure that shot through him wasn't enough, and it was almost maddening. 

Strong arms cradled him and scooped him off the ground. Misaki opened his eyes as he felt him self being carried delicately to his own bedroom and set gently on the plush mattress. Akihiko crawled over him, and to Misaki's surprise, just stared into his eyes. As if sensing his confusion, Akihiko spoke.

"Not tonight since I lied about not being drunk," He whispered with a wicked grin. "But I apologize. You seemed to be absolutely dying for some physical contact." Misaki's ears heated.

"As if!" He promptly stated, turning himself so that his back was to the other man. Akihiko wrapped his arms around Misaki, snuggling deeper into him until his heat radiated past the layers of their clothing and into Misaki's skin. 

"Goodnight, Misaki." Akihiko whispered deep within his ear, and Misaki couldn't help but feel his eyes grow wet from just how much he realized he loved Akihiko's voice. 

"Goodnight." He dared not to speak above a whisper, afraid that the half asleep drunk might detect the tears in his voice that was on the verge of cracking. Closing his eyes, he pretended to fall asleep, knowing that there was no way in hell that he was actually going to get any rest. Not with his heat beating so fast anyway.


	3. Baleful as Death

A heavy feeling washed over his limbs as he woke, the scent of freshly cooked food reaching his nostrils, making him realize just how famished his half asleep body really was. Misaki rolled over onto his side, stretching his tired limbs. With a yawn, he scratched his revealed stomach and kicked the blankets off the side of the bed. Opening his weary eyes slowly, he stared up at the white ceiling and realized he was alone.

He propped himself up on one arm and looked at the discombobulated sheets around him. Despite not falling asleep for awhile, Misaki had surprisingly slept rather soundly and quite peacefully wrapped in Usagi-san's arms. The author's scent still lingered in the folds of his bedding, however, it was slightly tainted by the scent of the man's heavy drinking. It made Misaki wonder why exactly Usagi-san had even gotten drunk in the first place. What had made him so depressed that he needed to turn to alcohol to clear his mind? Misaki hadn't the slightest clue, and that's what scared him. 

Two soft knocks on the frame of his door shook him from his thoughts. The door opened without needing to be called in, the man himself standing in the door frame in his usual vest and tie; his silver hair neatly tended to like always.

"You awake?" He said soflty, the open door letting loose the smells of sizzling meat, as well as freshly cooked eggs. Misaki's stomach rumbled. Akihiko laughed.

"Sounds like someone's hungry."

"Yeah." He replied meekly. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed and onto the ground, Misaki realized he was still in his clothes from yesterday. 

"Well, go ahead and wash up and then come and join us. Today's an English breakfast." Misaki got up as the man left, shutting the door behind him.

Us? Misaki frowned. Who exactly does he have over? Maybe Aikawa-san, since it has to be someone who knows how to cook. 

Misaki headed to the bathroom and quickly hopped in the shower. After washing his body and hair, he soaked in the bath for awhile before his stomach decided that he was done bathing. Getting dressed in a pair of khaki capri shorts and a simple pastel blue tee-shirt, Misaki made his way down to the kitchen, anxious to eat breakfast. 

The table was set for three, each plate containing an assortment of sausage and bacon, eggs, beans, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, and potatoes, accompanied by toast and a cup of tea. Misaki, to say the least, was somewhat impressed. 

"Misaki!" He turned his head as he heard his name suddenly called. Before he knew it he was wrapped in a hug from the taller, dark haired Takahiro Takahashi.

"Nii-chan? What are you doing here?" Misaki tried to breath between the strangulating squeezes that came with his older brother's hugs. 

"What am I doing here?" He asked, somewhat shocked as he pulled away; grabbing Misaki's shoulders. 

"Don't tell me you've forgotten your own birthday..." Misaki gaped. 

"Oh c'mon, Misaki! That's so cliché." Takahiro pat Misaki's shoulder with a chuckle, turning his attention back to the breakfast table. Misaki looked over at Akihiko who just watched the whole affair with a small smile on his face. 

"Let's eat, shall we?" Akihiko walked over to the table and took his seat, beckoning for Misaki to do the same while they waited for Takahiro to return from the kitchen. 

"I can't believe I actually forgot." He said, pulling out his chair and sitting down. "Well, I mean I didn't forget, I just forgot what today was...or rather yesterday. I thought this wasn't until tomorrow." Rubbing his head with a frown, Misaki mumbled, Now how did that happen? under his breath before looking up at Akihiko.

"Whether you were ready for it or not, it came anyway, so you might as well enjoy it." Akihiko stood from the table, walking over to his ashtray to snuff his cigarette, and then returned shortly. Just as he did, Takahiro also made it back from the kitchen.

"Everything's cleaned up now, so I guess we can eat." The three of them put their hands together, said their blessing, then dug in. 

"So,"Takahiro began. "Usagi and I have a big present for you today." Misaki looked up just in time to see Akihiko tense slightly.

"Really? You didn't have to get me anything you know. I'm fine with everything that I have now."

"No, it's your big day, you deserve something great. Isn't that right Usagi?" Akihiko was frowning at his food, but dutifully lifted his head with a smile and replied.

"That's right." Misaki knew something was off.

"So, what is it?" He asked curiously, wanting to know the reason why Akihiko was acting the way he was.

"It's a secret." With a snug smile, Takahiro continued eating his food. Misaki glanced over at Akihiko who still seemed rather odd, but Misaki thought that it was perhaps because he wasn't trying to give the secret away. Or could it be that he was still brooding over the same thing from yesterday?

"I can't wait to find out then." Misaki said with a joyful smile to show his brother his thanks. 

"First we'll go somewhere. Manami is going to get everything ready for the surprise with Mahiro, so while we wait the three of us can spend some quality time together."

"Where will we be going?"

"You can choose. Me and Usagi talked it over, but we decided it was just better to let you decide, since it's your birthday after all." Misaki ate another forkful of eggs as he thought it over. Where would he like to go? He had a whole list of places he normally resort to, but those were places that Misaki and Akihiko could go on date--

Misaki choked on his food before he could finish the thought.

"Woah, are you alright? Don't get so excited now." Akihiko handed Misaki his drink to help subdue his coughing. Finally getting his food down, he took a moment to breathe.

"I'm fine," He said, his chest somewhat pained. "Just went down wrong is all." 

\---

After the three finished their breakfast, Takahiro took the dishes into the kitchen to start washing them. Akihiko and Misaki sat on the couch and flipped on the weather forecast. Like the past two weeks, today was supposed to be sunny and hot.

"Usagi-san?" Misaki said suddenly.

"Hmm?" 

"Where do you think we should go?" Akihiko kept his eyes on the television, flipping the channel a couple times before replying. 

"It doesn't matter what I think. It's your birthday. I don't wanna take the choice from you."

"But I don't know. I mean, there's all kinds of places I'd like to go, but...I don't know. Just not for my birthday." Misaki put his feet up on the couch to rest his chin on his knees. 

"Then what about something simple, but will create good memories." Akihiko turned to look at Misaki with soft eyes. He thought for a moment.

"Yeah. I think I'd like that." He said at last. "But where?" 

"I dunno." Akihiko turned back to the T.V.

"Jeez, you're no help." Misaki frowned. Somewhere simple that will create good memories? Where would that even be?

As the sounds of Akihiko flipping through one kids show after the next and the rushing of the kitchen faucet filled the maisonette, Misaki couldn't for the life of him think of anywhere to go. Having nothing better to say, he suggested the obvious.

"Then how about we just go to the park? We could do something relaxing there while we think of something better." Akihiko didn't take his eyes off the show, but he smiled.

"Hey, don't laugh at me!" 

"I'm not laughing," He said, suddenly getting up from the couch. "I think it's a good idea. Not to complex and it's open to opportunity. It's flexible." Akihiko walked over to the bar separating the living area and the kitchen to brew himself a coffee. 

"If that's what you want to do, Misaki, then let's go!" Suddenly appearing out of nowhere, Takahiro pat Misaki on the back with a smile. Despite a growing feeling of uneasiness welling up inside his stomach, Misaki smiled back, hoping that everyone else will have a good time. That itself would be enough for him.

\---

On the way to the park, they decided to stop by one of the new bookstores. It was mostly for the sake of Akihiko since he was amazed that he hadn't even seen that bookstore before, but Misaki managed to find a couple manga volumes that he'd been meaning to read. Everyone getting back in Akihiko's sliver car, Takahiro in the passenger seat and Misaki in the back, they started back on their way. However, halfway there, it started to rain.

"Oh it's raining."Takahiro said with a sigh. "That wasn't in the forecast.."

"Yeah. I guess we can't go after all." Misaki frowned, more because he didn't know what to do now rather than him actually wanting to go.

"So where are we headed?" Akihiko asked.

"Should we just go ahead and give him his present now?" Misaki once again saw Akihiko tense, a small movement that he was sure his brother missed.

"If you want." 

"I think it'd be best. After all, this rain is getting harder. It'd be best to get indoors." The rain had turned from a slight drizzle to a full on down pour, thousands of water droplets harassing the sides of the car. Misaki stared out into the swirl of the storm, wondering how it could be so dark in the middle of the day, and felt the car shift forward as the light turned blue. The car started forward the dark rain clouds seeming to reach out and take hold of the city. 

As the silver car pulled out into the middle of the four way, Misaki's heart skipped a beat. An extra set of blinding headlights pierced the veil of rain, coming at them at a terrifying speed with no intention of stopping. 

"Usagi-san!" He shouted, but before he could register anything, he felt the metal crushing force slam into him, his head hitting the car window, and his vision blackening.


	4. Nail This Courage To The Sticking Place

  A thick darkness from behind closed lids. That's what he could see. A void of interminable blackness that reached out forever over the transparent horizon. A warmth danced on his skin, filling him with a sense of absolute tranquility as a light wind kissed his cheeks and played with his clothing. 

  Misaki opened his eyes to see rain.

  As if he were obscured by some invisible barrier, the water droplets failed to reach him. All around him felt like spring: warm, peaceful, full of life, and yet his senses seemed to be split. The sky only growing darker with each passing second; the sun slipping down to the skyline and painting the air with an array of grays and streaks of silver linings.

  Misaki rubbed at his eyes, not quite believing that this was all real. He felt like some on-watcher seeing it all from a screen in his living room. Pulling himself off the ground, he reached out his hand to feel the falling tears. However, when his skin got close enough to touch, the water suddenly shifted away, looking as if it were falling against a glass bowl that encompassed his entire body. Watching the thousands of beads dissipate into nothingness as they were absorbed into the ground, Misaki realized:

  He couldn't hear them.

\---

  The splitting sound of sirens roared within Akihiko's ears as he tried to open his eyes. He felt wet, like he had been submerged in water, his head spinning; a strong stinging sensation coming from his forehead accompanied by a furious pounding. Squinting at his surroundings, a sudden wave of dizziness crashed over him as he tried to remember where he was and what was going on. He took his head into his hands in an attempt to still himself.

  He heard a groan from beside him. Turning his head and slightly opening his eyes, he saw Takahiro.  He too held his head in his hands, his shirt soaked from the rushing rain water coming in from the broken car door. The dark haired man shook his head slightly and turned to look at him.

  "Akihiko. You're bleeding." Akihiko averted his gaze from the dazed looking man to look at his hands. A thin layer of crimson covered them. At the sight of blood, his dulled senses awoke from their confused state. Immediately he turned himself as far as his seat belt would let him to look into the back seat.  

  "Misaki!" He called out, but the unconscious boy showed no signs of comprehension. Misaki looked liked dead weight; his body leaning forward using the seat belt as a support which was lodged between the bent metal of the car frame and the car's leather interior. "Misaki!" He tried again, but still he did not respond. 

  Akihiko whipped back around, grabbing hold of his own seat belt to unbuckle. He forcefully pushed down on the red button over and over, but he was not released from his confines. 

  "The damn thing's stuck!" He growled, yanking hard on the polyester fibers to try and rip it free, but the more he struggled, the less it seemed to work.  "Why wont it just open!"  Banging his fists against the steering wheel, Akihiko turned to the frightened looking Takahiro.

  "Well don't just sit there, dammit! Misaki's back there so help him!" Takahiro did as he was told, quickly jumping out of the slightly damaged car door. Akihiko once again struggled with his belt, finally getting the mechanism to release the metal clasp. How to get out of the car, however, was an entirely different story. His side of the car, after being hit, had been slammed against a nearby building, blocking any way of exit on the driver side. He was lucky he hadn't been crushed. 

  "The door's stuck!" He heard Takahiro shout from outside, his already frantic heartbeat thundering against his chest even harder than before. Squirming his way out from his seat, he climbed over the cup holders, into the passenger seat, and to his freedom. Rushing over to the ruined door, he pulled hard on the useless handle. 

  "Misaki!" He tried once more, the three syllables lost within the sounds of rain and a gathering crowd. He banged on the window in some hope that it would wake the boy. That'd he'd lift his head and assure him that he was alright. 

  "Akihiko, look." He felt Takahiro grab his arm as he turned to see what the other man way referring to. An ambulance truck came into view, it's sirens blaring like some call of death and it terrified Akihiko. Two men hurried from the large vehicle and over to where they stood, the rain pouring heavily overhead.

  "Please," Akihiko said, the desperation in his voice painfully sharp and sorrowful. "You have to help him. He's still in there." One of the men grabbed Akihiko's arm, trying to lead him away from the car.

  "It's alright. We're going to get him out. Now what's your name?"

  "Usami Akihiko." He stated dryly.

  "And your friend over there?" The man pointed to Takahiro who was currently being tended to by a third man who he hadn't seen. Akihiko looked back to the car where two other men were trying to get the door off.

  "Hey," The doctor said, snapping his fingers lightly. "Your friend. What's his name?" 

  "Takahiro Takahashi." The man lead Akihiko to the back of the ambulance where he sat him down, handed him a blanket, and pulled out a medical kit. 

  "Alright, good. Now what about the one in the car? What's his name?" Akihiko gripped his hands together and looked down at his feet.

  "Misaki. Misaki Takahashi." 

  "Is he related your other friend?" 

  "Yeah, they're brothers." He said with a sad smile, suddenly feeling cold as his adrenaline began to die down.

  "Okay. Now look here." Akihiko looked up. "How many fingers am I holding up?" 

  "Seven."

  "Good." Pulling out some sort of rub on medication and a gauze bandage, the doctor cleaned up his wound on his forehead and covered it. 

  "Alright Akihiko, I'm going to ask you some questions, is that alright."

  "Yeah." Akihiko took a deep breath, trying to shake the worry residing within him.

  "Do you feel disoriented at all? Confused?"

  "Uhh...I...confused? I suppose I'm a bit shaken, but not confused, no." 

  "That's good. Now, can you tell me your birthday? Just the month and day is fine."

  "March third." 

  "Excellent. Do you have any pets?" As he asked each question, the man jotted a few things down. Akihiko was getting tired of these pointless squabbles; he wanted more than anything to know if Misaki was alright, but he answered the questions dutifully as they came.

  "At my family home, I have a dog." 

  "And it's name?"

  "Alexander."  Akihiko sighed, wrapping the large towel like cloth around himself, his body shivering from the rain that had begun to let up a bit.

  "I'm going to go and check on everything else, are you alright here?" Akihiko grabbed the man's arm.

  "Will he be okay?" He looked up at the doctor, whose face had turned somber at his question, with hopeful eyes. 

  "We'll do everything we can to make sure that he is." And with that, the man left Akihiko to his intrusive, swarming thoughts that made him feel nauseous, and with the hope that maybe, just maybe everything would turn out alright.


	5. Doom and Gloom

His whole body felt warm, like the warmth you feel when sitting before a flame. Only, this warmth covered him; devoured his flesh until nothing was left behind but a burning sensation. His chest felt heavy, as if being pushed down by an outside force, and his mind was a scrambled, discombobulated, mess. 

"Misaki." A faint voice whispered in his ear as he slowly began to come back to reality. "Misaki." It came again; something soft brushing against his cheek. His hair was moved out of his face, a few strands tickling his nose as they passed by. 

"Wake up, please." The deep voice from before was louder, more clear than it had been. It was full of sorrow: quiet, worn, and somewhat scratchy. It embodied the essence of a decrepit old shack, left abandoned without someone to repair it. He felt the cool light of a shadow cast upon his face, but then the light filtered over his eyelids as the object blocking the light moved. 

Misaki groaned, the offensive light disturbing his slumber. 

"Misaki?" A hand cupped the side of his face, gentle fingers caressing his cheek. Misaki opened his eyes slowly, a sudden grounded feeling taking over him as the product of his assault slammed into his limbs. He felt like his entire being had been replaced with lead; heavy and unmovable. 

Leaning over him, looking down at him with soft eyes, was Akihiko. Everything at once came rushing back: the sudden rain, the golden headlights, the fear--and as if on cue his whole body was submerged in pain. 

He gasped as his lungs ached; refusing to take oxygen in at a normal pace. His entire side felt numb and yet it was as if that part of him felt everything too much. Tears filled his eyes uncontrollably, running down his face and wetting the white pillow. 

"Misaki, It's alright. It's alright." Akihiko took him into his arms, hugging the green eyed boy gently and rubbing the back of his head softly. "I'm here."

"U-Usagi-san" He breathed sharply, his voice barely audible. He put his hands on Akihiko's shoulders; trying to tell him that he was hurting him, but he couldn't get any words out. He instead just relaxed, leaning himself against the other man as to not damage himself further. He could feel Akihiko's breath against his ear and welcomed the heat that radiated from him and let it melt into his own skin. 

"I was so worried." The four words that came from the silver haired man were so quiet that Misaki almost mistook them for a sigh. "I don't know what I would've done..."

Misaki closed his eyes against the sudden urge of wanting to be back home at the time before all of this had happened. He wanted to just curl up in his own bed, Usagi-san beside him, and not have to worry about anything as he let the hours pass him. But he couldn't give this horror back to the weave of fate, and he couldn't reverse horrid time; so he stayed slumped against Akihiko, letting tears fall down his face and wincing every time the older man shifted in the slightest.

\---

"Misaki, are you ready?" Sitting at his desk in his cluttered office, Akihiko leaned back in his chair as he called for him. It had been almost a month since Misaki had been confined to a hospital bed, but after a steady and swift recovery, the doctors deemed that he was in mint condition. Well, besides the moderate whiplash, the boy seemed to be doing fine anyway. 

"Misaki?" Akihiko called again when Misaki did not reply. Stretching his arms over his head, his wash white dress shirt coming untucked, Akihiko rubbed his eyes and stood. The two of them planned to go to Takahiro's place to have a small get together to celebrate Misaki's birthday and his recovery, so Akihiko had tried his hardest to get his manuscript handed in on time. It took a lot of tyrannizing himself, coffee, and couple of nights spent without sleep, but it was worth it to be able to see Misaki happy. Anything was worth it if he was rewarded with something as precious as that. 

Scooting back his seat and standing, Akihiko grabbed his alice-blue cardigan that he'd left hanging from the back of the chair and walked out the open door. Making his way into the living area, he frowned. 

"Misaki?" He said, but the brunette was no where to be seen. Walking through the kitchenette and even knocking on the bathroom door, it had seemed that Misaki had disappeared. His frown ever increasing, Akihiko walked up the stairs, trying to remember if he had actually remembered waking him up or if his mind was just playing tricks on him.

"Hey, are you up here?" He said, approaching the door. "We've got to go soon. I thought I told you to get ready." Knocking on the white painted door, Akihiko waited a second before opening it without confirmation from the other side. 

"You in here?" Poking his head in, Akihiko was somewhat surprised to actually see Misaki sitting at his desk writing on a piece of notebook paper. 

"Misaki," He called. "We've got to go." Misaki didn't budge. Letting himself in, Akihiko walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Misaki flinched hard.

"U-Usagi-san!" He said in shock. "Don't just sneak up on people like that!" Misaki frowned, a small pout on his face as he held his chest; trying to still his fast heartbeat. 

"I didn't," Akihiko chuckled, much to Misaki's surprise. "I called you about a thousand times and you didn't answer me. So either you've gotten lazy, or you're ignoring me." Akihiko smiled, enjoying poking fun at the younger male.

"How the hell did you even come to those conclusions...?" Misaki sighed, rubbing at his glabella in slight agitation. "So, are you done with work?" He asked.

"I told you that I technically was about an hour ago," Akihiko's smile faded; slightly worried. "Did you not hear me or something? I told you to go ahead and get ready to go to Takahiro's." Misaki stared up at him as if it were the first time he had heard any of it.

"No," He replied. "I didn't hear you."


	6. Driven to Despair

The day was sunny. Birds were singing, people were bustling, and the sky beamed a bright golden blue. Misaki, on the other hand, was rather stormy indeed. 

"Usagi-san!" He shouted at the half dead man currently lying on the hardwood floor. "I literally just cleaned this room! What the hell did you do!?" Akihiko grumbled something incoherent as Misaki and his air of doom began rushing around, re-cleaning his office. Books were scattered everywhere with loose papers lodged within them, pens and discarded sheets, and some sort of weird...alien life form? Misaki wasn't quite sure, to be honest. 

"How many times do I have to tell you! Put the books away when you're done, and don't leave writing utensils on the floor! They'll snap if you step on them!" Misaki, fumbling with the amount of stuff overflowing in his hands, thrust one of the pencils he picked up at him in an attempt to get his point across. Akihiko just rolled over onto his other side.

"Hey! Don't you ignore me!" Misaki kicked him very softly on the back so that he wouldn't drop the books, but mostly because he didn't want to hurt him. But he of course would never admit to that and wouldn't mind giving Akihiko a punch or two if he ever asked questions. Misaki frowned when he heard a low, amused, yet muffled laugh coming from the floor.

"Don't laugh at me either. I'm serious, this has gotten ridiculous." The laughing didn't cease, and despite himself, a very very faint smile twitched at the sides of his mouth. Misaki finished putting the books on the bookshelf and moved to the desk to put the pens in their designated holder.

"No," Akihiko said, a smile clearly embedded in his voice. "I'm just glad." Misaki stopped.

"Glad?" He asked, turning to face him. Akihiko rolled over to look at him.

"I'm just glad you're back to your same old self, and that you're here," Akihiko sat up then smiled at him. "With me." Misaki felt his face burn as it morphed into different shades of red. A silence passed over the both of them, hanging in the air and dragging out for what seemed like, to Misaki, ages. Akihiko just looked at him with warm eyes and a soft smile, but he did not stand nor make any move towards him. The silence was broken by the rumbling of Akihiko's stomach. He sighed and flopped back down on the floor. 

"I'm starved." He said nonchalantly, and Misaki was debating whether or not he was joking with him or if he just had serious mood problems. 

"Uhh...right. I'll go make you something." Akihiko just mumbled a sound of approval as Misaki exited the room and went downstairs to the kitchen. Pulling out ingredients for something to eat for lunch, he began devising plans on how to slip green peppers into the meal without Akihiko noticing. Misaki chuckled to himself and pulled out some tea leaves for later. Arranging several things on the counter, he turned around to the cabinets to find a mixing bowl. Deciding to use the medium sized metal one, he opened the middle door and stood on his tippy toes in an attempt to reach it. Stretching one finger after the next, he cursed the genes that made him short and tried to lift himself higher before he could finally touch it, but his grip slipped causing the bowl to fall from his grasp.

clang clang as it stuck hard against the floor, spinning in such a way until it rotated unsteadily on it's opening, and then a sort of wah wah wah faster and faster until the bowl sat still on it's head.

Silence.

A silence so deep and so sudden that it began to physically ring in his ears. A high pitched noise that made his stomach sick. It was such a sound that he's never known; so blank, so somber, so void of life. Misaki stood frozen, staring down at the bowl perplexed.

What is happening?

He took a breath, unable to hear the intake of oxygen into his windpipe. He coughed, and yet not a sound came; snapped his fingers, but nothing broke the slightly faded ring. He whipped around towards the windows, approaching them to stare at the traffic below, but the calming rumble of passing cars eluded him. He didn't move, only fixed his gaze on the outside world and thought of the many things he should be able to hear. The birds, the rustling of trees, the wind chimes, the sound of peoples voices; if he were to go to them, would he still be able to make out what sound they made? Was this all just a temporary situation? Maybe he should try...

Turning himself around suddenly to make towards the door, he collided with something firm. Bringing his eyes up, his heart dropped when a musky grey-purple filled his view. The tall man stared at him with a frown--just staring-- and his eyes spoke. So full of confusion doused with a hint of worry. Misaki prayed he wouldn't speak. Wished fervently that he would just stay quiet in hopes that if he did, he could just tell himself that he would hear him.

But a part of him knew that he wouldn't, and yet, he didn't want to believe. 

Small tears welled up in Misaki's eyes, blurring his vision ever so slightly. And then he saw Akihiko's lips move, and yet all he could do was imagine what words rolled off his tongue. Misaki watched as he grabbed his shoulders and spoke to him as if he could understand what he was saying. 

He doesn't know. He told himself, the tears spilling out over his cheeks. I don't know...why? What is this?

Misaki could feel himself weeping, but that was all it was: a feeling. The sounds of sniffling or his teary gasps for breath were lost upon deaf ears, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Because if anything, there was one thought playing through his mind over and over and over.

He couldn't hear Usagi-san.

\---

Akihiko's grip on Misaki's shoulders tightened as he tried to get him to calm down.

"Misaki!" He said firmly as he shook the boy gently, but no matter what he did Misaki wouldn't look up at him. "Misaki, why are you crying? What's wrong? What's happened?" Akihiko had heard the bowl drop to the ground, so naturally he had gotten up to see what had happened, but when he walked in, Misaki was oddly staring out the window. He'd approached the boy, saying his name a few times but it was as if he were totally detached from this world entirely. It frightened him that he'd started crying so suddenly. What if there was something terribly wrong that he hadn't noticed?

"Misaki!" He tried again, to no avail. "Come on, please. Tell me what's wrong?" But the boy seemed to ignore him, grabbing hold of Akihiko's shirt and gripping until his knuckles turned white. Knowing that this wasn't going anywhere, he did the one thing he knew would work. Grabbing Misaki's chin and angling his face upwards, Akihiko pressed his lips gently to his. Almost instantly the tears stopped, as Akihiko knew they would have.

He kept their lips connected for a few short moments before pulling away, looking into Misaki's swollen green eyes with a frown, wishing that he could do nothing more than to help him be rid of whatever was ailing him.

"Misaki," He said soothingly. "What's the matter?" Misaki stared up at him, a deep frown on his face as if he were mortally confused. Akihiko stared back, just as intense.

"U-Usagi-san," Misaki finally said so quietly that it was almost mouthed; like a fallen breath struggling to pierce the wind.

"Yeah, I'm here. What is it?" He caressed the boys face gently, praying that he would stay calm. He noticed Misaki choke up a bit before he continued.

"Usagi-san...I don't know what you're saying." Akihiko looked down at him as he said the sentence with obvious difficultly, as if he were trying to compress his speech for some unknown reason. 

"What do you mean you don't know? I don't understand..."

"Stop." Misaki whispered, lowering his eyes in an expression of anguish. "Please stop, I can't hear you." Misaki grabbed Akihiko's arms as he began to sob violently. Akihiko was confused. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to ask, but Misaki was telling him to be quiet. What was he supposed to do? 

Akihiko wrapped his arms around the weeping boy, rubbing the back of his head gently and with love. He did not speak, only let the sounds of Misaki's crying fill the house as the sky outside grew ever darker. 

"I c-can't hear a-anything..." He heard Misaki's speech muffled by the fabric of his own shirt. Akihiko frowned, his heart beating fast from anxiety, but instead of showing Misaki his fear, he just continued to rub his brown locks. Akihiko brought him closer to his chest, placing his chin atop Misaki's head as he stared out the window, a thousand different thoughts racing through his mind.

How long had Misaki been like this? How long had he not noticed? Akihiko hated himself for not realizing something was terribly wrong all the times that Misaki had seemed to ignore him. 

Why does it have to be him? Why isn't it me? 

Akihiko tried desperately to hold back his own tears as Misaki's continued, and he watched out the window as soft rain drops tapped against the window.

Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat.

And he wondered how much of it Misaki could hear as it began to get harder and harder, beating against the windows like this tragedy had their lives; a storm ripping through their daily routines followed by the hurricane that was sure to be brewing on the horizon.


	7. Jowls of the Beast

Misaki hated cars and hospitals and doctors and headaches and his ears and himself and the rain and just...everything. Except for Usagi-san, but it's not as if he liked the man. Or so he told himself.

Misaki stepped awkwardly out of Akihiko's silver sports car, closing the door behind him, and told himself that he did indeed hear the car door shut. If not, he imagined it, so whatever.

Misaki sighed. Trying to keep himself from falling into depression by pretending he was actually hearing things was starting to wear him out both physically and mentally. He closed his eyes and looked at the black top of the hospital park-in, absentmindedly wondering to himself how concrete was made and asking his own mind why it had to be black. Why not orange? Or green? 

He looked up when a slight movement caught his eye. Akihiko stood in front of him, with his khaki coloured trench-coat-like jacket hanging on his arm, a light grey turtle neck pulled over his torso, and a pair of dark coloured dress pants. He held out an arm towards Misaki with a somber expression, urging him onward. Misaki nodded and walked up beside him. Akihiko rubbed his back for a mere second out of reassurance before they both walked inside; hearts beating anxiously. 

They both walked in and to the front desk. Akihiko of course did all of the talking while Misaki stood beside him, viewing all of the art hanging against the tan painted walls. There were paintings, pictures, and poetry. The furniture itself was like a work of art, merging with the colours of the room in a picturesque way; almost mechanically so. It was as if it all fit together as it should, a slight difference in the shades of light whitish-browns, dashed with a touch of cerulean blue on cushions or the frames of photos was all done purposefully. Misaki could tell, and although he knew that the palette was selected with the intent of pacifying its onlookers, he felt a certain uneasiness churn in his stomach.

He turned around as he felt Akihiko gently tap his shoulder, and then began to follow behind him similarly to how a duckling would follow its mother. Misaki chuckled softly to himself at the analogy, as he lately found himself doing to his own jokes and other cheesy things of the like. That, in itself, was enough to clean the grin off his face. 

Misaki followed Akihiko into a dull room full of pale blue canvas wallpaper with a bumpy texture which was the only thing keeping it from being too impossibly bland. A strong puff cloud full of cleanly smells wafted into his face, and it made him want to cough. Did he mention that he hated hospitals? Misaki frowned as he took his rightful place in the chair in the corner behind Akihiko's. He would just let him take care of everything. He honestly didn't want to resort to that, since it just seemed to cause more trouble for Usagi-san, but what else could he do? Of course the thought of calling Takahiro to check him in like he had after the accident had come up, but neither of them were sure if this deafness would last. They decided it best to leave the man out lest he worry needlessly.

A sudden yawn escaped his lips after a few minutes of watching the transaction between Akihiko and the frail old woman behind the computer screen. When the action had passed and he re-opened his eyes he was slightly taken aback to see them both looking at him, Akihiko smiling amused. Misaki blinked a couple of times before they turned back towards one another, and he suddenly felt rather invisible. He sighed quietly. It was such an awful feeling. Being so aware of by others because of a disability to the point that you feel almost transparently different. He felt as if it were his most dreaded feeling and yet he hadn't even been like this long...

After that room and the old lady, came the waiting room. The long t-e-d-i-o-u-s wait that stretched on for hours upon hours upon hours it seemed, until they finally called him back for his scan. Down a long hall, turn, and then down another until they reached the end, only to find themselves up against another twenty minute wait. Akihiko seemed to grow more and more restless, but without being able to hear himself, Misaki preferred to stay quiet, and being in a public place, there was nothing he could really do. Not that he would have done anything like that anyway. 

A sudden awkwardness arose between the trio of himself, Akihiko, and the petite nurse as she tried instructing Misaki what to do before Akihiko stepped in and apparently told her he couldn't hear her. After that, the awkwardness, however, only seemed to grow. The nurse looked back and forth from Misaki to Akihiko and then down at her clipboard; a slight blush tinted her cheeks. Misaki frowned, his face deadpan. Whatever it was, he was sure that he wasn't going to like it. 

After that, the nurse quickly left, leaving the two alone in front of a pin locked door that looked like the entrance to a nuclear weapon facility. Misaki stared at the door, too tired to really argue. 

He felt a sudden jerk on his arm as Akihiko pulled him backwards into a space cut from the wall that was obscured by a thick yellow curtain. He felt himself call out the man's name in protest, but was quickly silenced by Akihiko's hand over his mouth, as he had probably shouted without meaning to. When he raised his green eyes to look him in the face, he moved the hand away, putting a finger to his own lips in a gesture of silence.

Akihiko turned himself around, looking at the small space a bit before turning back towards Misaki with creased brows. Misaki, too, frowned at the mans obvious attempts to find some way to communicate. Not knowing sign language could be a real pain in the ass, and Misaki really regretted not taking lessons from Sumi-senpai when he had the chance. 

Misaki watched as the other man grabbed two bundles of white cloth from the bench and held them to where he could see. They were quite clearly hospital gowns. Why on earth he had to put them on was beyond him. It wasn't as if he even knew his treatment procedure, let alone how to move forward with it, but he'd be damned if he was going to trust Akihiko enough to get undressed in front of him. It was mostly because he'd made it a habit not to, but you could never be too safe when it came to the ever unpredictable Usami Akihiko.

Misaki reached a hand up to his throat to feel his vocal vibrations to be positive he was whispering.

"Why two?" He asked, hoping that his voice was low enough. Akihiko gestured for him to hand over the gowns, putting one on the small black bench and unfolding the other. He put one first on like a normal jacket and tied it in the front. Grabbing the other, he did the same but in reverse. Misaki couldn't help but chuckle, which made Akihiko smile as well. This was all rather silly after all. Two adult men behind a changing curtain, trying on hospital gowns. If only his brother could see him now.

Akihiko took off the gowns and placed them on the bench, gesturing to Misaki to get stripped. He of course had a sly grin on his face, but it was more of a humorous grin rather that one that spoke of action. That didn't stop Misaki from pushing out of the changing room.

One by one he peeled the pieces of clothing off of himself, except for his socks and boxers. He removed everything from his person, placing it in a small black locker with a dead lock then proceeded to put the gowns on like Akihiko showed him. Hesitating, Misaki wasn't sure if he really wanted to pull the curtain open. 

Being without pants is one thing, but being in a hospital gown was another. Top that with the first, and it's probably one of the most embarrassing things to let Akihiko see that he'll ever do. Finally just deciding to punch him if he laughed, Misaki pulled back the curtain. 

Of course the first thing Akihiko did was chuckle to himself. Misaki glared daggers at the man. 

Not too long after that, the nurse cane back, spoke with Akihiko, then typed in the four digit pin to the door. Swinging the door open, the trio stepped inside. 

Even more so than the outside, the inside looked like something from a sci-fi. A wide vault like door was shut, all around it a set of dashed green lights. Off to the side, a large pane of glass resided withing the wall, and through it he could see a large machine with a table coming from its round opening. Misaki was a bit terrified. Questions like, what the hell is this? What the hell am I doing here? Am I going to die in this thing? Is this some kind of time travel device? Came to mind, but instead of trying to ask any of them, he just stared. 

The large metal door suddenly opened and from behind it another nurse walked into the dark entrance. When she passed through the door, Misaki noticed that the green lights turned red and flashed. He assumed it triggered an alarm, but he couldn't be certain.

Everything there on was rather hectic. A nurse who he hadn't seen led him through the iron fortress of a door and over to the table attached to the machine. She lied him down, his head resting in a cloth lined cradle, then put a hard white cushion under his knees. Several times she would touch his arm or chest in a sort of way that made him feel as if he shouldn't move, so he tried not to while they covered his legs with a white blanket and handed him a set of ear plugs. He didn't understand why he needed them or the headphones that they slipped over his head, but he didn't argue as the lady continued to hold him down lightly and place a white football helmet like grate over his entire face.

Misaki's anxiety suddenly caught up with him. Not ever doing something like this before, his heart began beating fast from the fear of the unknown, and his stomach felt sick. He squeezed his eyes shut as the nurses closed the vault and he slowly inched into the jowls of the gaping beast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALLY HATE HOSPITAL SCENES. D:


	8. The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn

  The death like quiet that had consumed his mind had somehow found a way to devour him physically as well. Misaki could feel the silence as the medical table halted itself inside of the giant magnetic machine.

  One. He counted, eyes fixated on the single dark strip of grey that ran horizontally  throughout the inside of the machine. Two. Three. Four.

  And the the entire thing began to buzz with energy; the blanket of silence broken as he felt the vibrations of the machine soak into his skin. He felt as it moved him in and out in a wave like motion, shaking when it stopped and pausing to let the stillness of the air grab him when it moved. Back and fourth over and over. One to four over and over. Until the twenty minutes was finally over, but it felt like a lifetime.

\---

  Akihiko waited fidgety outside of the MRI room for Misaki to appear, tapping his foot and pacing a small strip of the hall since he couldn't smoke to calm his nerves. There was, truly, nothing that he should have been worried about. It was just a scanning, but despite telling himself that even if the doctors knew whether or not they could revive Misaki's hearing, neither him nor the boy would find out until the follow up exam. 

  Finally the sound of the door opening snapped him out of his daze. The nurse, along with Misaki, walked out into the hall. The brunette quickly made his way to the adjacent changing room while the nurse stopped to talk with Akihiko.

  "Do you have a follow up exam scheduled?" He knew it was coming, of course, but hearing it from the mouth of someone else agitated him slightly. 

  "Naturally." Akihiko replied, more than ready to get out of there. 

  "Alright, well, they should have these pictures sent over and evaluated by tomorrow, so they should give you a call." Akihiko wasn't about to ask who they were, but he sure as hell wanted to know how long exactly it was going to take them. Akihiko opened his mouth to ask but before he could speak, the scraping of the curtain's metal rings against the bar cut him off. Back to his normal attire, Misaki stood staring at the both of them. Making sure it would not be physically seen by Misaki, Akihiko sighed. Nodding at him, Akihiko thanked the nurse and started walking towards the exit. 

  As soon as they were both in the car, seat belts on, and on the road, Misaki had dozed off; clearly exhausted. Stopped at a stop light, Akihiko smiled at the boy and pulled his white cap over his eyes.

\---

   A swirling darkness skated through the rink of his mind in a half rotated waltz-jump, elegantly landing with finesse. But the more it moved, the more it scrapped noisily at the ice. Scratching, clawing, scraping, until it all became one unified sound.

  A soft, and subtle ring.

\---

  Misaki opened his eyes, slowly allowing his vision to adjust to the thick golden rays of sunlight breaking through the tall windows. Turning his head to the side, it quickly became apparent that he had been sleeping on the couch. How he got there and why didn't really matter. In all, the fact that he was on the couch at all didn't seem to bother him much as he turned himself over on his side and re-closed his eyes, fully intent on going back to sleep.

  But of course his brain wasn't going to let him. 

  Opening his eyes, Misaki stared at the red tented material of the sofa blankly, not really knowing if he should get up or just stay where he was. He stomach growled at him slightly, but if he were being totally honest with himself, he was probably too worried to keep anything down. Tomorrow he would know what had made him deaf. Of course, he knew it was the accident, but what was damaged and could it be fixed.

  That's what worried him the most. 

  Misaki rolled over onto his back, the strong scent of cigarette smoke almost choking him. The house and everything that Akihiko owned smell of smoke, but when he smoked heavily, Misaki would almost mistake the scent for coffee, and when that happened it only meant one thing: Usagi-san was worried too. He had always tried to get Akihiko to stop smoking so that he could prevent the idiots untimely death, but the man had only retorted with something along the lines of, I'll stop when I'm dead, which obviously earned him a slap. Misaki frowned. Of course he didn't blame him for being worried, but working himself up and harming himself while trying to calm down was having the exact opposite effect on Misaki. Deciding to resolve  this before Akihiko decided to bring out the alcohol too and drink himself into a stupor,  Misaki pulled himself off the couch and stretched. 

  The man was easy to find, a trail of smoke practically leaking off of him, but also because he was where he always was: in his office. Misaki had opened the door quietly, or what he'd thought had been quietly anyway since the man hadn't realized he was there. Akihiko sat at his desk with a cigarette in his mouth, his eyes closed, and his chin resting on his closed fists. He looked awful. Entering the room and walking behind the man, Misaki realized that he was asleep. Shaking his head, he pulled the cancer stick from the man's mouth, which woke him, and snuffed it the ashtray. Akihiko looked at him confused, since he probably hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep, so Misaki pat his arm and mumbled, get some sleep. 

  Misaki was taken aback when Akihiko looked up at him with weary eyes and an expression he'd never before seen him have. It was gone, however, almost as quickly as it came; Akihiko lowered his eyes to stare at his lap. And in that instant, Misaki knew exactly why.

  Akihiko blamed himself for everything.

  Misaki, the only thing running through his mind being to comfort him, bent down and pulled the older man into a hug. He could tell Akihiko was surprised, but he didn't let him go as he said softly, It's alright. It's not your fault. It's okay, Usagi-san. 

  He felt as Akihiko wrapped his arms around him, his body shaking slightly from the emotion that racked his body, and Misaki, for once, was glad that he was deaf so that he didn't have to hear him cry; the sound, no matter how quiet, would have surely torn him to pieces. 


	9. Silver Lining

  Akihiko wasn't sure if Aikawa understood the meaning of 'no.' Because obviously, he was not going to work on his manuscript an no she was not going to convince him to do so anytime soon.

  "Sensei, please! All you have to do is complete the manuscript and then you can finish your time off!" Akihiko huffed into the phone for yet another time, tapping his pen repeatedly in an irritated manner against the table.  Even if he were to die, it seems, she would still come looking for his manuscripts, even if she had to bust down the gates of hell to reach them. 

  "Look, I told you I'll have it done by next Wednesday." He said for the hundredth time. "I'm not even going to touch a single key on my laptop until I know Misaki is aright."

  "But Sensei! Wednesday is too la--" Akihiko ended the call. Tossing his phone on the table, he half expected to hear Misaki complain to him about how he should get his work done or how hanging up on her was rude. When he looked over to him, however, he was still reading peacefully sitting by the windows.  The crude sound of his phone buzzing against the wood brought his attention back to the table where he snatched up his phone and answered it.

  "Alright, I understand!" He halfway shouted at the phone, too fed up with Aikawa's petty attempts to get him to do his work. Top that with all of this worry and stress and Akihiko felt like he could kill someone. "I'll finish the damn manuscript, so you can stop calling!" Of course he wasn't going to, but if it'd shut her up...

  "What the hell? Could you not  scream in my ear, that would be nice." Akihiko frowned at the lack of a woman's voice on the other line. 

  "Who is this?" The other person scoffed.

  "Of course. Didn't even check the damn caller ID before you answered..." Akihiko could recognize that sassy tone from anywhere.

  "Hiroki?" He said, not having expected a call from his childhood friend. 

  "Who else would it be? The last time I checked, you didn't have any other friends." Akihiko smiled at the familiar bite in Kamijou's words. He knew that the other didn't intentionally fill his speech with malice, and that's what made it all amusing. Hiroki was just naturally an asshole.

  "Of course." Akihiko just agreed with him like he normally did, despite the fact that the statement was clearly false. He did have Takahiro as a friend, so Hiroki wasn't the only one. Unless you're not supposed to count an ex-love interest as a friend, then it would actually be true... "What did you need?"

  "It's about the kid staying with you." 

  "Misaki?" Akihiko asked tentatively, wondering why Hiroki would call to specifically talk about him.

  "Yeah. He takes my class so I heard about what happened a couple months ago from the school, since a certain someone feels the need to neglect calling his friends about, oh I don't know, your near death!" Hiroki growled at him, but Akihiko was unfazed.

  "Anyway, Nowaki works at the hospital that did his evaluation and I just remembered him mention that his whatever scans were finished being looked over. I could ask him to talk to you about it now if you don't feel like waiting for the follow up." Akihiko was surprised at his friends generosity. "And don't think I'm doing this for free. I expect a favor in the near future." Hiroki's frown could almost be heard through the phone.

  "Yeah, alright." Akihiko let out a breath as he began to get a but anxious. "I'll listen."

  "Fine," Akihiko heard a muffled shout of Nowaki, get in here! Before Hiroki came back on the line. "And Akihiko?"

  "What is it?" Hiroki paused.  

  "Make sure you get Takahashi-kun back in school soon. He's a lost cause when it comes to literature, but he's the only damn student I have that I don't have to yell at on a regular basis." Akihiko hesitated. The great Devil Kamijou was actually worried about his students. Whether he would ever say that directly or not was another case, but the fact still remained, and it touched Akihiko's heart a bit.  A couple moments later, Nowaki was put on the phone.

  "Hello? Usami-Sensei?" Akihiko's heart skipped a beat at the sound of the man's voice, his breath slightly unsteady.

  "I-I'm here." He managed to choke out, his throat suddenly dry from anticipation. 

  "There's no need for self introductions, so if you want I can just go ahead and tell you what we found." Akihiko wasn't sure whether or not to be comforted or offset by the man's professional tone. He assumed it just came with his job.

  "That'd be best." Nowaki hummed in agreement, the sounds of footsteps then the, rustling papers followed. 

  "Usami-san?"  
    
  "I'm here." 

  "Aliright, so..." More rustling. "About Takahashi-kun. I don't originally work in the department with his age range, but I can still help I believe. I was told he experienced sudden deafness?" 

  "Yes." Akihiko put his forehead in his hand. "I don't know what happened, but he was distraught and said he couldn't hear anything."

  "Hmm, okay. Sorry about this, but give me a moment to find the copy of the paperwork and scans. It's mixed in with all of my other copies."

  "No problem." Akihiko tried to steady his breathing, telling himself that it was pointless to get worked up, and he began praying to whatever god would listen that the results would come out alright.

  "Here it is." Akihiko bit his lip. A tense silence passed over the conversation as Nowaki examined the results 

  "Well, the problem isn't that we don't know what's causing it," Akihiko felt as if his heart was going to stop. "It's just that, Usami-san, I'm almost certain there's no way Takahashi-kun will hear again." And at that Akihiko felt his heart dropped.

  "W-wait, so there's no treatment for this?" He asked frantically, wishing that what he was being told wasn't the truth.

  "Don't just use this call to skip the follow up, because seeing him may be vital, but based on the other doctor's evaluation and what I'm seeing, I'm afraid there's little we could do." Akihiko clutched at the table, his knuckles turning white. 

  "Well, w-what's the...what's the problem?" He asked, not really sure if he wanted an answer. 

  "Based on the scans, it seems to multiple problems."

  This is all my fault. This is because of me. 

  "Some of it may be related to head trauma and other parts of it may be caused by the loudness of the crash..." He trailed off. "I'm sorry." Akihiko's didn't know what to feel. How hard is it going to be for Misaki now to do the things he loves? How much is he going to miss out on because of his selfishness? Everyone has told him that he couldn't have know, that the other person wasn't paying attention so he shouldn't blame himself, but what if he'd just waited. What if he had followed his gut feeling? This could have all been avoided. 

  This was because of me.

  "Usami-san?"

  "I-I've got to go." Not bothering to listen to Nowaki's goodbye, Akihiko hung up the phone, grabbing it with both hands. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

  I'm sorry. He thought to himself. I'm so sorry. A prickling sensation flooded the corners of his eyes and he gripped the phone tighter, a dry laugh escaping his lips. Akihiko never cried, and yet the past week it seems he's done nothing but.

  I know I'll never be able to tell you, because you won't ever hear me...but, I'm so terrible sorry, Misaki. A sharp pain filled his chest as he brought his filled hand to it, taking in a sharp breath.

  "Usagi-san?" Akihiko froze.

\- - -

  Misaki stood at the foot of the couch, worriedly staring at Akihiko intently. The man was crying again; an act that was extremely out of character, and yet he seemed to be doing it more often than not. It, of course, was not good for Misaki's nerves. The older man wiped his eyes, glancing up at him before looking back down at the ground. Misaki sat down tentatively next to him. 

  "Usagi-san, what's wrong." He whispered. Misaki could tell that Akihiko sighed as he reached down for his satchel resting against the couch. Pulling out a notebook and a pen, he began to write; handing the note to Misaki when he was finished. The writing was elegant and neat. An obvious trait for someone who writes constantly, but the message was not something Misaki was not expecting. Two words, one a contraction, one not.

   I'm sorry. Misaki frowned, scanning the page for more writing. Lower on the sheet, it continued.

  There is nothing they can do to help. It won't get better. I'm sorry.

 

  I love you. 

  Misaki's breath was sucked out of him, causing him to feel empty and void. His lungs stopped working and he felt tears burn in his eyes. He gripped the paper tightly, a sudden sob escaping his lips.

  I love you. 

  It hadn't occurred to him just how much he's lost. Just how much he would miss those three words that he had so easily taken advantage of before. He was never going to hear them again, and that was the one thing he'd regret for the rest of his life.

  Akhiko's pulled the boy into his embrace, Misaki burring his face into the cloth of his shirt as Akihiko caressed him gently with his large, cold hands. Misaki held nothing back, gasping for breath as the violent sobs claimed him. 

  "U-Usagi-S-san." He choked out. "I-I love you. I love you." Akihiko's grip on him tightened, warm droplets falling into Misaki's hair, but he didn't care.

  And as he too wrapped his arms around Akihiko, something suddenly occurred to him. Misaki tried to control his weeping to focus, his ragged breaths calmed as he put his face to Akihiko's chest. 

  Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

  Misaki gripped the back of Akihiko's shirt tightly as he felt the man's heartbeat, thumping rhythmically within it's warm confines. And it made Misaki cry for a whole new reason; he laughed, never wanting to let him go.

  I love you, Misaki.

  And he could feel it resonating within Akihiko's chest, his own name almost heard as he felt it spoken.

  "I feel it." He chuckled, snuggling his face into the essence of the man. "I feel it." And suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ^-^ I hope I didn't slaughter you with boredom or something. Please, please tell me what you thought :D leave a cooment! Even just to say hi. I'd love it~ Adieu for now.  
>  ~Sensei


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